As I sit here before the computer I can hear them. In the summer with the windows open I can hear them most of the time. I live in a condo (a wholey undeserved luxury but I’m not saying no) in a lovely building with a southern facing over a verdant back patio… that means lots of green leafy trees and whatnot. I also face an apartment building , unfortunately I am not entirely shielded by the fence and barrier of trees. This rental building (note the inference of class prejudice) in one year had more police calls than any other building in Vancouver. Before I moved here a prostitute was beaten to death on the front lawn of this building by her pimp. Supposedly the landlords cleaned up the place after a disgruntled evicted tenant left a firebomb on a timer after he moved out, taking out a handful of peoples homes. That I witnessed. It should come as no surprise that the people living there tend to be transient, a no matter how loud or rude there are they move on frequently enough not to be a problem. Like the family of Quebecois who partied virtually nightly or the woman who wailed constantly at a boyfriend night after night, about what exactly never seemed to be determined. I well remember an exchange:

She: You don’t understand me!

He: Fuckin' right I don’t understand you!

Which I thought was at least an honest response. Next a very gay voice from our building:

“Oh, why don’t you just shut up!?”

All this from just one corner of the apartment building, the one directly facing me!

Then the Monkey Tribe moved in… they’ve been there a couple of years now, surprisingly long time… I’m not sure who they are, there seems to be a young woman who’s been since the start but is that the same boyfriend I’ve been hearing all this time? There always seems to be a crowd hanging out there. Hard to tell. All I know is that these kids (I think of them as kids although they’re in their twenties as near as I can figure, they act like 8 year olds) never seem to communicate at anything under a bellow, the word of choice is “fuck” in all it’s glorious permutations and women of all kinds, even women they like, are invariably referred too as “bitches”. Almost anything can and does lead to an shrieking argument, it’s hard to decide if they are noisier when they are happy or angry. Once while “partying” (a nearly everyday occurrence in the summer) they once broke the glass patio door and just kept on going. You may accuse me of invading their privacy but how the Hell can I avoid hearing them when she come out onto the balcony and yells into her cel phone for all to hear about “that asshole”, “that cunt” and inevitably, “that bitch”? If it’s not them shouting, it’s their dog barking at anything that moves or shitty rap music. I’ll admit I’ve had far worse neighbours but I’ve never had neighbours with such a long range of annoyance! I accept these things, all part of living in the city and putting up with each other…

...mind you, I had to leave my last two homes because of people, the kids who decided the park outside my window on Chester Street would make an excellent dope hang out and vandalised our lawn ornaments when we dared call the cops, starting fires, threatening violence. And the junkie lesbian who lived next door and stole my books for collage material. Then the place on 15th I moved too was broken into and my CD’s and camera ripped off, the police of course did nothing. That’s why I’m here, relieved too know that although my neighbours might annoy me, they can’t get to me… except for the guy downstairs who wants to stuff things up my ass and is trying to get me to die of a heart attack, but that’s another story I won’t get into right now…

"C'mon bitch, I'll kick yer fuckin' ass! Go for it bitch!"

"Shut the fuck up!"

Ah, the sounds of the city...